I Won’t Complain

Today will be a little different. Today I came to have a conversation. A conversation with God.

2024: A Journey from Pain & Isolation to Gratitude & Growth 

2024 has been a crazy year. A year of humbling moments. A year of pain. A year of feeling alone. But most importantly, 2024 was a year that gave me a lot of perspective and self reflection that made me a better person in the long run. I see how when things got tough for me this year I had a victim mindset instead of a growth mindset. With my victim mindset, I would ask God, “why me” instead of “why not me?” With my victim mindset, when problems arised, I pointed fingers at everyone but the person in the mirror. And with the victim mindset, I overlooked how God provided all my needs because I was so focused on what I didn’t have. Today I want to reflect on how good he has been to me and just say, thank you lord. I won’t complain. 

Embracing Destiny

God, I thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to step more into my life’s purpose this year. You revealed to me my assignment on Earth through a vision. You showed me that my time on Earth was meant to leave and impact. An impact that will live beyond me. An impact that impacts generations. God, you showed me that in order for me to complete my assignment, I was going to need to be stretched and the weight of others would rest on my shoulders. I remember whenever I started feeling overwhelmed, I would look in the mirror with tears running down my face, poke my chest out, and say “I can handle it lord, put it on me.” God, you put a lot on me this year. If I knew how much you would stretch me this year, I don’t think I would have accepted the call you have given in my life. 

 Emerging Stronger: Navigating Solitude & Emotional Trials to Foster Personal Growth 

God I feel like you put me on an emotional roller coaster this year that created a domino effect of bad luck. Coming into the year single was a tough decision I needed to make. The relationship I had ended peacefully but adjusting from seeing and talking to someone everyday to them suddenly becoming a stranger left my mind clouded. I honestly felt so empty and lost during this time. I remember crying everyday and asking myself, “Wisdom, how did you get here?” After a lot of time in reflection, God, you showed me how I got there. You showed me how I was a good provider, but not the best partner. You showed me the things I needed to work on. And you showed me that this time of me being alone is shaping me into the person you need me to be in order to complete my assignment. I’ve seen so much growth in myself this year. From self awareness, self love, and heightened emotional intelligence. At the time, my weary eyes couldn’t see how you were working on me, but now I say, thank you lord, I won’t complain. 

From Victim to Victor: Finding Hidden Blessings Amidst Life’s Storms 

Around the same time of my breakup, my car engine blew out randomly and my dog and I were stuck in a snow storm for 2 hours until a tow truck came to get us. This is where my victim mindset started to kick in. I was without my car for several weeks. I had to take the car back twice because they did such a poor job.I was so frustrated with life at this time. I was frustrated that I had to ask people for rides. I was frustrated that I couldn’t make it to the gym. I was so frustrated and stubborn that one day I turned what would have been a 5 minute car ride from a friend to an hour round trip walk to the grocery store. At this time, I felt like the world was against me. God, I felt like you turned your back on me. I found myself asking you, God, why me? But I was so deep into the frame that I didn’t see the bigger picture. I didn’t see how blessed I was. I didn’t see how you were showing your care for me in providing my needs. The engine that blew out turned into a $7,000 bill. I had just bought a house and most of my money was tied up in improvements. So I wouldn’t have even had the money to get a new car or fix my engine, but 2 days before my engine went out, my credit card limit increased without me requesting it. The increase was the exact amount that allowed me to cover the expenses with no hesitation. God, you provided for me. I was so frustrated that I had to ask people for rides, but these were people who helped me get to work and take me to places I needed to be. God, you provided for me. I made myself such a victim that I didn’t see how blessed I actually was, but now I say thank you lord, I won’t complain. 

From Job Departure to Entrepreneurial Struggles: Discovering Unforeseen Support on the Path to Purpose 

In June of this year, you spoke to me. You told me it was time for me to leave my job. You told me it was time for me to start stepping into my purpose. I planned for entrepenurialship to be prosperous right out the gate. I planned for me to be at the top of the world, but your plan was different. My start as an entrepreneur was rocky. I felt like I couldn’t catch my stride. All the deals I was putting under contract were falling through and the bills didn’t stop coming either. I was angry with you. I was confused on how I had so much success with my business as a side hustle and then when I leave my job is when nothing wants to work out? I remember feeling so stressed and anxious about how I was going to make it through each month. I felt like there was no one I could depend on. I felt like it was me against the world. Things were not going how I planned it, but I now see you were working on me here too. You wanted me to know that I won’t be able to complete my assignment alone. I needed to know that people helped me get to the top. You sent people in my life who helped me financially without me even asking or holding my hand out. I couldn’t see how you knew what was best for me, but now I say thank you lord, I won’t complain. 

I needed to shift from a victim mindset to a Growth Mindset. With a growth mindset, I can see how you dried all of my tears away. With a growth mindset, I can see how you turned my midnight into day. And with a growth mindset, I can just say thank you lord. Thank you lord for using the end of a relationship to show me how I can be a better partner. Thank you lord for using a storm to humble me and bring me closer to you. Thank you lord for all you have done for me. I won’t complain. 

I Won’t Complain

Wise Wednesday